10 Fundamental Signs You’re Showing Your Gay-ge

10 Fundamental Signs You’re Showing Your Gay-ge
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10 Fundamental Signs You’re Showing Your Gay-ge

A common ‘thing ‘amongst gay men, undoubtedly more so than with straight guys, is drawing reference to our age. There are myriad of reasons for this; use of labels within the community like ‘twink’ or ‘daddy’, the queer landscape – and access to queer culture – changing so much in a short space of time.


Add to this the fact that statistically we’re less likely to be parents at a young age maybe lends itself to the notion of ‘staying younger longer’. Some would argue that gays of a certain age were simply robbed of a ‘normal’ youth and choose to live their twenties in their thirties.


Either way, it’s a thing. And whilst age ain’t nothing but a number, there are some subtle, but notable, differences between the younger and older gay man living in 2021. Here are just a few but get busy in the comments and add any glaring ones we might have missed out…



  1. When you hear the word Kylie, it conjures up the image of a dynamic gorgeous woman but whether you’re older or younger, that woman could be completely different. If you’re young, and we mean in your twenties, Kylie means Kylie Jenner, the ‘self-made’ Kardashian clan billionaire model and make-up mogul. If you’re older however, say in your 30s/40’s, there is only one true Kylie. Kylie Minogue, the Aussie Princess of Pop and gay icon for decades. So convinced was she of her status as ‘the only kylie’, Jenner allegedly tried to trademark the name ‘Kylie’ as a stand-alone moniker. Big mistake, huge. The gays of a certain age were shook.

  2. When a young person thinks of a cottage, their mind probably goes the little bijous house their parents live in in the Cotswolds, but for the older gen it has something of a cheekier meaning. Whilst a young gay might think cottaging meant going on a sightseeing tour of lovely countrified piles, the cottaging of an older era meant you were planning on frequenting a public bathroom. Primarily to get laid. Whoohoo! See, in the days before Grindr or before even Gaydar (which should have its own entry IMO), hanging around filthy restrooms waiting for a guy to give you ‘the nod’ was the only way to go about an anonymous quickie. A regular activity for city boys or guys with wives, it was thrust onto the international stage when George Michael got in trouble with ‘The Po Po’ in LA, the catalyst for his song ‘Outside’ and the accompanying video, complete with bejewelled urinals. Every cloud and all that.

  3. Dogging – Does this mean walking the dog with friends? No, young man, it does not. While dogging isn’t exclusive to one age group, it leans towards an older crowd and to talk about it with a young person they blanche at the thought. Going shuffling about in the dark, wet and cold looking for random sex sounds like a tawdry escapade but it sure is a thing and happens up and down the country on a daily basis. There are digging sites near you if you know where to look and the aim of the game is guys like to You go get yours, girl.

  4. Glory hole – This could be more of an education thing as it also means a messy bedroom and a quick look on PornHub and you’d be in no doubts as to what a glory hole was. Again, in this era of easy hook-ups, a glory hole is rendered a bit useless, unless you happen to be a regular, know where one is and you’re in a bit of a rush. Glory holes also come with the added benefit of optional face contact, perfect for your DL ‘must be discreet’ guys. AND there really is very little room for small talk, so actually making it perfect for your Netflix/ Youtube generation because you can literally ‘skip intro’.

  5. Dating – Surely dating means the same thing to one and all? Alas not any more. In my experience (and that’s all this is) older gays often prefer meeting up with someone they like, sharing a bottle of wine and a movie and perhaps a snog or more at the end of it. If you’re a young gay it’s often sliding into someone’s DMs on your social platform of choice and going from there. Maybe a Facetime date is what you’re after if you can’t drive or be bothered to go anywhere? It’s a whole world of difference out there and way more complicated than it used to be.

  6. Such a sticking point. Madonna is either a musical and shape shifting genius, or is she an over-rated has-been hag that sounds a bit like Lady Gaga. This of course depends on your age and deserves an entire feature (watch this space) and let’s be honest the Queen of Pop has not helped herself in the last few years on any level. It cannot be denied that she changed the face of music and culture but does her legacy hang in the balance if young people don’t recognise this?

  7. Steps – You have to try and do 10k of these a day and you’ve got your Fitbit and a multitude of apps to monitor your progress. Not so if you’re an older gay! Yes, you need to keep up your step count, possibly more so, but Steps is a 90’s pop sensation that keep coming back for more. Hey, Sia even wrote a track for their new album. Frothy unashamed pop that can still sell out an arena tour, to think otherwise would be a Tragedy

  8. Ellen DeGeneres – 2020 was a bad year for all of us but especially Ellen. Whilst a young gay could see her as a bullying harpy who’s allegedly only ever nice to the celebs she interviews and treats everyone else like garbage, and older gay thinks quite the opposite. Ellen was a trailblazer and comedian who came out at a time when it was wildly unfashionable and at the height of her uber popular sitcom of the same name. Sure, it was canned a year later but she was the face of modern lesbians and it’s easy to forget this in the current furore. She’s still one of the most powerful women in daytime TV and one would be wise not to write her off.

  9. Having a boyfriend. Aside from the obvious references to a ‘special friend’, rather than a boyfriend, the structure of relationships for the modern day gay man is somewhat more evolved. It can probably be best described in one way: This. Tweet.

10 Fundamental Signs You’re Showing Your Gay-ge


10.   Fortunately, we live in a time now where LGBTQ+ representation on television (although not exactly of equal status) is far more visible and prevalent. Ironically, younger gays, you have the older gays to thank for this, making it a moral essential that television chiefs and broadcast executives are responsible for queer storylines in TV and film. Every soap, reality show, drama; it’s fair to say there is a fantastic amount of representation for gays on TV. Older gays remember it differently however and you were lucky if you got a camp queen screeching ‘ooh Betty’ to much raucous laughter for many a year. Gay equalled camp equalled hilarious back in the day. Something to laugh at. Fortunately in 2021 gay men and women have a somewhat more eclectic overview these days. Time to step up and rep our trans sisters, brothers and others now too please, TV execs!

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