Bride-to-be slammed for disinviting trans sister to her wedding to appease transphobic parents
This blushing bride-to-be decided to grant her transphobic parents wishes so she could get her wedding paid for and Reddit users have torn her a new one.
Reddit is a bit like that TV show you never think to watch but then suddenly, one day, it randomly pops up and reminds you how brilliant it is.
Enter user u/Ill-Yoghurt-482, who shared her story (below) on the ‘Am I the Asshole?’ Reddit forum, explaining how her transphobic parents had cut off her sister after she came out as trans about a year ago.
The user explained that their parents are ‘very conservative and known to be transphobic’, so the coming out had caused a huge fight resulting in the sister being completely ‘cut off’ by the majority of the family.
The poster insists that she had been ‘pretty supportive’ of her sisters transition, by “using her pronouns and her name and all that” and saying “I even make it a point to visit her every so often”.
However, because her parents adore her new fiancé and see him ‘as a substitute son’, ‘he’s definitely more on their side of the situation, and he’s made it clear he doesn’t really agree with, or like, my sister all that much,’ she explained.
She goes on to say that she previously “promised her that, if and when I got married in the future, she’d still be invited despite any tension with our family.”
However, all that changed when her parents threatened to pull their wedding funding if her sibling was allowed to attend.
The post goes:
As the post reads: “I mentioned wanting to invite my sister, and they shut the idea down immediately, talking about how she disrespected the family and cut them off and all that. They basically gave me an ultimatum: have my wedding planned and paid for by them or have my sister there and they don’t come at all.”
Continuing: “I took my parents’ offer, because I can’t really afford to pay for an entire wedding and because my fiancé pressured me to accept it. I broke the news to my sister, and she’s very understandably upset, but I’m still inviting her to a smaller afterparty over Zoom so we can still be together on the big day.”
To finish, the poster admitted she felt “really guilty” about her decision to cut her sister from the big day, before opening the floor to fellow reddit users with the question “AITA?” (Am I the asshole?)
To which Reddit swiftly replied… Yes.
“She’s just as transphobic as the rest of them” said one user.
“She’s just trying to make herself feel better but she knows deep down”,
Another user replied: “Either you support your sister or you don’t. Using her pronouns and “even visiting her every so often” (what a saint! /s) isn’t the incredible work you think it is. It’s truly the bare minimum. And with your parents giving you a check with strings shows that you can be bought off.”
One user pointed out that while she couldn’t be blamed for her parents’ transphobic views, she could, in fact, be blamed for choosing to marry someone who is openly transphobic, whilst also claiming to be an ally to her sister.
“You’re right, you can’t be blamed for your parents’ transphobia,” the user wrote. “But you can be blamed for marrying someone just like them.”
Some other replies included…
Once the replies started blowing up, the poster added an edit to her original post, defending her situation, saying “I don’t think I made it clear enough how overbearing my parents are.”
“Just saying ‘no’ to them wasn’t really an option for me, and if I’d declined their offer, they simply wouldn’t have come to whatever smaller wedding I managed to plan, which would have been even worse,” she wrote.
She later returned to her post again, this time to say she was turning off the notifications because people are ‘misconstruing’ and ‘ignoring’ the difficult position she is in.
‘I hope you all are happy,’ she added.