THIS OR THAT: With Brandon & Matt
Sexy Lumberjack or Sharp Dressed
Matt: I’ve always had an affinity for wood. Call me an environmentalist, call me a “tree” hugger, but there’s nothing I find sexier than a hairy man who has an appreciation for MY environment.
Brandon: They always say “dress for the job you want” and baby, I have a couple of “jobs” in mind when I see a stylish human walking into my life. It takes a lot of effort to put together a look like that and I’ve always found those clothes look better on the floor.
Romantic or Kinky Sex
Matt: Turn down the lights, pour me a glass of that $10 bottle of champagne that’s been collecting dust in your kitchen cabinet since you moved into your apartment and play me the soundtrack of Bridgerton while serving me a private performance of Simon’s monologue to the Queen. It’s the simple things, ya know?
Brandon: Cuffs and ropes and chains, oh my! Hold on to your ankles Dorothy, your boy is ready and vers-ed in one of his favourite communities. The trust, the passion, the thrill. Your safe-word is: Absofuckinglutely.
Netflix & Chill or Out & Dressed to Kill
Netflix & Chill
Matt: Have you sat and cried for an a hour and a half watching “My Teacher the Octopus” on Netflix? Great, then put on those tight grey sweatpants, get your Seamless ready (we’re having Thai) and cum on over to my place. It’s going to be a longggggg night.
Out & Dressed to Kill
Brandon: There’s something about a night out on the town, wearing your new shoes, a beat face and that jacket you stole from your roommates closet 2 years ago that you SWEAR isn’t his, that makes you feel alive and thriving. I may not necessarily have any money to be spending but baby, you put me in the right room, nobody else exists but us. (Btw, I forgot my card, could you get this round?)